I had a bad day

Here's a quick update before I try and get some much needed rest.

The doctors talked to mommy this morning and told her that they felt I would do okay without the ventilator. They wanted to take me off the ventilator but keep me on the CPAP machine so I would still get some oxygen. Mommy and daddy were both very worried that I wasn't truly ready to be off the ventilator, even though the settings the doctors have me on are really low. Daddy was at work so there wasn't much he could do, besides mommy and daddy are not the doctors....but I am their son.

Around 2:00pm the doctors finally decided to extabate me. They took the ventilator tube out of my throat and hooked me up to the CPAP machine. Instead of a tube down my throat I had a little mask on that provided oxygen to me through my nose. The doctor and nurses monitored me for 30 minutes and found that I wasn't doing well enough on my own. I was able to keep my O2 saturation around 83-85, but not really on a consistent basis. I would drop into the 70's, and occassionally jump up to the 90's, but I just couldn't keep my O2 consistent. So after 30 minutes on just the CPAP, the doctor decided to intebate me again. It took them approximately 15 minutes to get set up and then they re-inserted the tube down my throat and into my lungs.

This was a little traumatic for me as my little throat and lungs are still sensitive and growing. Mommy was a little traumatized as well. Daddy showed up after work right as they were finishing the intebation. He was not very happy and asked the doctor why I couldn't just try the CPAP with the old tube still in. The doctor explained that when the tube is in, it creates an obstruction in my lungs because they are so tiny. If they were to attempt to have me on the CPAP with the tube in, I would surely fail to reach the O2 levels expected.

Once they put the tube back in, they actually hooked me up to a regular ventilator. I did really well on this one and kept my O2 sat up. However, my 4:00 pm blood gases showed that I had again started trapping CO2 in my lungs. The amount that I was trapping in my lungs was not a healthy amount so they had to change the ventilator to the one I was on before they extabated me. I don't know what the ventilator is specifically called, but Grandma Hewlitt refers to it as a tractor engine because she says it kind of sounds like that.

It's now after 10:00pm and I'm doing pretty good, but I'm definately tuckered out and I am actually requiring more O2 than I have for quite a few days. Mommy and daddy have been very stressed out today as it appears that I am backtracking some, but the NICU staff keep assuring them that this yo-yoing is actually pretty common.
All I know is that I am really pooped out and just want to hold my mommy and daddy. I haven't gotten to be in mommy's arms since Monday, and I've never gotten to be in daddy's arms so far. Every day they tell mommy they are going to try and fit the Kangaroo Care into the day, but then something stresses me out and I need to rest.

Mommy and Daddy need rest too. I know they are worried about me, but I worry about them too. This evening they tried to keep the room as quiet as possible and didn't allow any visitors to see me. We are all hoping that tomorrow will be a better day! I really need to store up some energy for this weekend because my Auntie Rachel is coming to see me all the way from Texas. She was a preemie baby 27 years ago. She had to be born 9 weeks early because both she and Grandma Hewlitt were really sick. Grandma Hewlitt had what my mommy had with me, Pre-Clampsia.

Actually though, the doctors don't really know what was wrong with my mommy because her blood pressure was really high, and she had a tiny amount of protein in her urine, but all her labs regarding Pre-Clampsia came back normal. Because the doctors didn't know what was really wrong, they were afraid if they left me in mommy I would not make it. They told mommy and daddy that I had a better chance of living outside of mommy, so mommy and daddy told them to take me out right away. No matter how I am doing on a daily basis, I promise you that I will survive and grow up to be an awesome little boy! I know this because my mommy and daddy are so very special to me and I know that they love me more than anything else in this world. Daddy tells mommy that she's number 2 now in his life, and mommy tells daddy the same thing. As much as they love each other, they love me more. And you know what? That love is what will make me strong!

Good night and God Bless.